Reformed Self-Doubter: How Mindset is Everything in Overcoming Your Past

TL;DR: Mindset is everything

1) how you talk over yourself is powerful and sets the tone for your life

2) you must be willing to put in the work (for yourself) if you want things to change.

I shared in my bio on the site. My biggest desire is to help women through the highest highs and the lowest lows of life. I don’t want my own struggles and victories to just be for me, but to be the fuel for helping those around me rise to a better version of themselves.

I just want to tell you, from the bottom of my heart, you are capable of more than you think.

We have a choice daily, even when we don’t feel like it, even when it feels like a house is sitting on our chests and we just want to cry, we have a choice to choose joy or fear.

Maybe that sounds too simple to you or insensitive to the struggles you are facing or just plain stupid. 

I get it. There are days where I just feel like I am two seconds away from shutting down and crying. Days when I can’t break through the heavy fog or wall, I see in front of me.

But daily, I have a choice. I have choice to let it win, or let it fuel me. Some days the choice is easier and more powerful, other days it is not.

I have learned over the years, especially in the last four, that although the waves of life crash against me, I will not let them break me, but I will let them shape me. Like erosion against the rocks, the waves are just chipping away and exposing beauty underneath.

I had spent most of my life with unresolved and unprocessed trauma from my childhood and that shaped me very deeply as an adult. I used to have a lot of fear, self-doubt, insecurity about my choices (especially when those choices I thought were ‘good’ and nothing ever seemed to go how I wanted so I felt stupid or shameful), and I just had low self-esteem.

I appeared confident, outgoing, full of passion, and a fire for life. Those things are true, the deeper parts of me I never showed were just below the surface: the fear of failure, fear of abandonment, fear of not being ‘worthy’ or ‘enough’, and never getting ‘ahead’.

I share all of this to tell you, it is possible to overcome these things. Or at least make great strides to be able to reframe your thinking. What was behind us does not need to be what is ahead of us.

Mindset is everything.

Two key things here:

1)    How you talk over yourself is power.

How you view life will impact what you are telling God/Universe you are open to. Operating from a place of fear and confusion will just breed more confusion, inability to think more clearly, and lead to choices maybe you wouldn’t make otherwise.

I am deeply passionate about discovering what ‘blocks’ you, helping you find forgiveness and peace in the past, so you can move forward towards a life you are aligned with and desire.

I was once living in a place of fear and self-doubt. I am not on the other side of that journey fully, but wow, I have found that making deliberate choices to THINK differently changes everything. It isn’t easy, it is still a daily choice, but it is worth it and has radically changed my own life.

2)    You must be willing to put in the work.

Sorry, I hate to break it to you but to get through whatever you are currently in, YOU must move. You must work on yourself, your mindset, how you view things, your beliefs/thought systems you have built over the years, because you are the only thing you can change. Trying to change everything else but yourself is going to lead to more anger, frustration, disappointment, and poor decision making.

Get a coach (hi!) who will help guide you through this process of mindset shifts, roadblocks, and action planning. Do the work of getting to truly know yourself. We cannot move forward if we don’t know what we are moving! Learn to know, love, trust, and honor yourself.

So, today, I ask you to think about the following:

• Do I operate from a place of fear or a place of joy?

• Do I see the future as one of endless possibilities or am I just struggling to put one foot in front of the other?

• Are you carrying your past failures into your future opportunities?

• What do I risk if I don’t change anything? What do I can if I do?

If you need someone to talk to, I am here!